When Managers Won't Listen to HR
I used to think my role as HR was to be an agent of the FBI. I looked for performance issues, policy violations, and overall malcontent. I chased these things like my puppy, Honey, chases her toys.
Over the years, I have learned to be more consultative in my approach with managers, often staying in my HR lane in day-to-day business. I no longer feel like an agent of the FBI, but rather like pseudo-psychiatrist, Lucy (from the Peanuts comic strip), putting out my tile that says, “The doctor is in. 5 cents.” The amusing thing is, I can offer all kinds of advice based on years of experience, but managers won’t listen. Well, sometimes they won’t. It’s not that I think I have all the answers. It’s certainly true that I don’t.
But what do I do when managers won’t listen? There are times when I’m asked to weigh in on a termination decision. Sometimes, my opinion differs from the manager's based on the details of the situation and, possibly, the potential liability. Managers don’t like to hear no. They want HR to give them a definitive yes when they’re ready to terminate someone. However, if the manager hasn’t taken the necessary steps to document progressive discipline, how can I support the decision to terminate (unless there is blatant conduct to warrant immediate termination)? I refuse to say YES when a NO is warranted. However, I am not the final authority, and I recognize that. This recognition is one of the keys to avoiding frustration when managers refuse to listen.
The same is true when managers ask for HR support when they want to hire a candidate that, in my opinion, is not a good fit for our organization or our culture. I state my opinion not to hire based on my observation and interaction with the candidate. The hiring manager ultimately decides to hire the candidate anyway. Here again, I am not the final authority. I’m okay with that. Moving forward, my role is to help the candidate and their manager achieve the most tremendous success possible. This is another key to avoiding frustration when managers won’t listen: Recognize my role in the process and proceed with a professional, positive, and supportive attitude.
If, someday, the manager has to fire the candidate/now employee because they’re not a good culture fit, I can chuckle and say to myself, “I told you so.” This exact scenario has happened several times, and I must admit, it’s nice to be right sometimes. But I’ll tell you this: Sometimes it’s nice to be wrong. I love it when a candidate is successful, and the manager comes back to me to say, “I told you so.” This is an opportunity to refine my skills and assess what I overlooked during the interview process with the candidate.
And that is yet another key to avoiding frustration when managers won’t listen. Sometimes managers are right! I must be humble enough to admit when I'm wrong and then learn from the situation. It’s tough! However, this approach enables me to be a better HR professional, leader, and coworker.
So, what do I do when managers won’t listen? I recognize that I often don’t have the final authority. I accept the responsibilities of my role and stay positive. I realize that sometimes managers are right.
The reality is that for many of us in HR, our role is that of a consultant. We must realize that once we present our professional opinion, based on our experience and education, along with any potential liabilities, we must let it go. We may not like the final decision, and that’s our prerogative. However, we must stay professional, positive, and supportive. If we can’t, it may be time to consider a career change.
It's not my intention to make light of our frustration when managers won’t listen, but rather to encourage us to remember that we won’t win every decision. Things have a way of coming around, and in the end, we want to say that our response was one of positive support and professionalism. You’re not alone in your frustration, my HR friends. We can’t make people do what we want them to do or what they should do, but we can maintain our integrity and professionalism. AND we can call an HR friend to share our burdens. If you need an HR friend, I’m here to listen. That is my last key to avoiding frustration when managers won’t listen… call an HR friend who understands. ♥